A confession letter from Lucifer.

Translator (Korean to Chinese): Huahua, Emoji.
Translator (Chinese to English): GLH

I’m not sure if this is the last post I’m writing for the Korean community. First of all, what I am referring is related to the most recent WCG2019 issue. I need a little explanation of the situation.

As you all know, I would be attending the mTw tournament in Berlin in early April, and I should have been leaving with Chamiko. Actually, I think I started suffering into something since the time.

I don’t know if it was wrong on MTW’s side, or the ticketing company’s side. In short, we had a problem with the tickets but I could make a change at the counter and Chaemiko couldn’t, so he couldn’t leave Korea. By the time, it’s 5 o’clock in Germany, so I couldn’t contact all the team members. In the face of this situation, I was helpless, because I had a responsibility to participate in the team events. Although I was really sorry for Chamiko, but I need to go to Germany alone. Since then, I started getting stressed.

After the suffering 15 hours flight, I arrived in Berlin, and my accommodation was the same as you had seen on my stream. I talked a lot about the stuffs of mTw team in Berlin. At the same time, I was advanced directly because of the absence of Chaemiko, he was my opponent in Round of 8. In order to the duration of streaming, my team suggested me and Foggy to play an exhibition match. Although I feel it’s a bit wrong, I accepted the proposal in order to have some offline experience.

Until 2 am in Berlin, Check and I waited for WCG in mTw studio. After entering the BN WCG channel, we didn’t see any related personnel, so I asked a friend like a staff that if I can play on Netease platform, and he told me that it should be OK. So I thought it was allowed to use NetEase platform.

My first opponent was Soin, and he was not willing to play on the Netease platform. I remember that he said that we can only play on BN, it’s written in the rules manual. So both of us hadn’t started for a while. However, I saw Check and LawLiet was playing at NetEase platform, so I told my opponent that Check and LawLiet have started on NetEase, so we started the game on Netease as well.

After that, I was lucky enough to get to Round of 4 and I met Lawliet here. When the score came to 1:1, LawLiet and FoCuS contacted me suddenly, and they said that the WCG referee told us that we can only play on BN. By the time, the result was 1:1, so we only need a single game for the final result. However, the referee told me that this is a Korean qualifier, and no one can have a special case. In Germany, there was a 500 ping delay when I was playing on BN, so I could do definitely nothing. At last, LawLiet won this series.

To be honest, I was quite angry about this situation, but LawLiet played very good in those days. I guess I might not have a chance for WCG, so I returned to my accommodation. I need to play with Happy in mTw cup in the next day, and I remember that it was 5-6 o’clock when I got my accommodation . After I finally had a sleep for 2 to 3 hours, and then I went back to mTw Studio, I knew that LawLiet was disqualified of his qualifications, and I felt particularly sorry and my shape was being plummeted.

After that, I contacted LawLiet immediately, and I lost 0-3 to Happy in the following game. I lost mind control and my mind exploded that day. Maybe I should better coordinate these two things (WCG and mTw legendary Cup). However, I might lose Happy even I was in my best shape, so it’s impossible to win Happy by the time.

Check and I got the third place at the same time, and I feel satisfied about this. I participated in the team event anyway, and I had a good time with my team members in Germany. Keke was in the mTw event, and she told me that she would try to get the opportunities, and I continued to contact LawLiet to tell him that things would be resolved. After returning to Korea, I couldn’t sleep because of the time difference, and I suffered a lot. A forum in South Korea has a lot of ridicules about me. At first I didn’t care much because I didn’t think it was necessary to explain anything about this situation.

After that, I also contacted LawLiet to ask about the progress of the matter. I believe the audiences who were watching my streaming should remember, I called LawLiet to ask about WCG, on the day that I had my glasses. He said to me, “WCG said that let us to rematch, what do you think?” I told him, just follow your thoughts. I remember that LawLiet told me that rematch was a bit unreasonable. At that time, I thought that I lost the game anyway, and I still have chance for next time, so I didn’t think about it, and I continued my streaming.

On the second or third day, I received a call from a strange number. The person claimed himself as an WCG official staff, and asked if I wanted to play again. I said, “I don’t have a position to decide, and I don’t want rematch.” But in fact, I had no where to escape, because the official said LawLiet agreed to play again, and they officially announced to the community.

When the news was announced to the community, there was a lot of overwhelming comments came to me in the forum. I was very angry, but I still tried to control my mind, because I didn’t want to make the same mistakes before. I wanted to adjust my mentality and prepare well, but no one was practicing with me at the time, and I was not in the mood to practice.

At that time, Hwaryongri (PS: should be a Korean forum user) gave me a deep impression. I wanted to say “Thank you, I want to ask you, are you really my fan?”

I quit all SNS and I disconnected from the personnel behind-the-scenes, I only kept my parents and brothers in contact. At the same time, I set my phone to “uncallable”.

For reference, I still remember that a commentator commented on me like a judge, “although I don’t know what he’s thinking at the time, but Lucifer’s too tired.” Yes, this is the case. After the duty to joining the army, I have been receiving treatment and taking psychiatric medicine because of Mania.

If you feel that I am not trustworthy, I can post a medical certificate. The medical certificate I used when I submitted the information to KeSPA was still at home.

Maybe I am getting better, the doctor has reduced the amount of medication for me. My recent shape isn’t very good, the reason might be that I had put too much pressure on myself, or it may be the drug adaptation period.

In this situation, I don’t know what will happen if I contact other people, so I disconnected with others. Yesterday (24th April), I had a WCG rematch with LawLiet. I tried my best and I sincerely congratulated to Zhao Zhouyan (LawLiet real name) for getting a place. I hope he will have good results at the finals.

At last, I want to find a new way. I sincerely thank the Korean fans who have kept their attention and support during this period. Thanks for your understanding, and I hope to see you again in the future.

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